Our story - part II

So I'm fighting to not take epidural, a pain medication thinking that I could voluntarily avoid medical interventions. Wrong choice, i know that now. So this pain inducing drug works slow, so slow that I saw three nurses change shifts and adjust the level of pictocine. And finally a South African nurse was trying to convince me to take epidural, that way they could increase my level of pictocine. She was telling me that my contractions were not sufficient to induce dilation.

So eventually I give up and take epidural and then more unexpected and unheard of medical interventions followed. I could hear muffed voices as I was feeling too week, they were trying to reach my doctor who was suggesting them to use some kind of equipment to check the effacement. What was worrying was hearing that the baby was not descending.

I was praying as hard as I can, after all that was the only thing I could do apart from crying. Aravind and my mother were with me trying to tell me that everything will be fine. Watching me cry and not being able to help would have made them feel worst but my senses were far too broken apart to understand their feelings. Many a times I react and later regret and this was again one such occasion. But at least I'm learning.

The nurses were also getting all tensed up, I know its unlike a nurse but after all they are humans. After hours and hours of pictocine, I was 7 cm dilated. Things could have progressed had the baby showed signs of descending. But God alone knew why its not easy for the baby and yet He decided to just watch what we do.

After I think close to 24 hours, which is the highest time given for a delivery after the mothers water breaks, suddenly the nurses rush into my triage room. They was trying to work on the monitors all around me and on my belly. They said something about heart rate dropping. One of the nurses left quickly to call my doctor and came back saying that I'll be taken for a c-section. I think that was it. I lot my sense for good. I was no longer praying, but fighting with God.
I've been working hard to keep myself healthy throughout pregnancy but I end up here? Why was this happening to me?

Nobody could console me, my mother walked out crying and Aravind who was strong, stronger than I had ever imagined he would be. He stayed with me trying so hard to make me stop crying. He was telling me that for now its the baby's health and a safe delivery that's very important. And that it was perfectly normal to have a c-section. And the same lines everything will be alright.

But I was just not ready, I could never accept it. My doctor walked in, it was probably 5:40 am on October 29th 2010. She said we have to do a c-section as the baby's heart rate was dropping a couple of times and the critical issue is the baby is not descending. I was begging her to give me some more time and try increasing the pictocine and that I don't want a c-section. But she just said "Geetha I wish I could give you time but then again I don't want to take a risk".

They wheeled me in for the surgery and within minutes Sripathi breathed his first hospital air. It was 6:07 am. We heard him wail and the next thing I heard was the doctor mention that I could never have delivered him vaginally as his head was too large. Too large as per normal standards that he was rushed for an MRI within 4 hours of birth. But once delivered, the nurse cleaned Sripathi and brought him to me and placed his cheek near my lips, for me to kiss him. He looked cute, amazingly cute. After an hour or so i held him in the recovery room.